'"Now is the Time to be Your Solid Self"

Authentic leadership is the best kind of leadership of any kind over any group. But how can you be your own best self? Certainly, it begins with knowing yourself, what motivates you and what you cannot help yourself from doing, even if you wanted to do so. Reading David Brooks’ 2019 book The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life one is struck by a person who appears to be a very intelligent, rational person who is driven by what he feels and intuits at his core. In other words, he is in touch with his best self. Brooks then extends his own understanding of his individuality to the importance of other individuals getting in touch with their best self.

From a totally different angle Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST), based on the work of Murray Bowen, puts a high premium on being able to self-differentiate from other people and to be genuinely who you are. Another way in which it is put is to “be a solid self.” Solid self (or core self) is not like the masks people wear while growing up that young people try on. These "pseudo selves" are quite often identical to the person they want to follow, or are a full 180 degrees the other way. To have a lot of “solid self” is to know who you are at the core in relationship to your family, and to be able to stay firm and be regulated by these principles. Someone following their solid self knows what others believe and think, but then stands in the conviction of who they are and what they believe.

At first glance Brooks and Bowen may seem to be in disagreement with each other. Brooks may seem to find direction in leadership from passion generated through relationship with family and mentors and peers. Bowen seems to argue for just the opposite: you can only find your solid self as you individuate from family and friends. But essentially both apparently contrasting positions on self come down to each leader being true to that person’s essential self, apart from anyone else. These positions come together when you consider that one is seeking to be true to who they are, devoid of the expectations of others and the positions of others.

The leadership qualities that will best serve organizations are not based on following what others are saying you ought to do to please your constituency. The true leader is willing to put their individual selves as he/she knows it best out there and take a position that will be best for that organization. To be sure this means that a leader needs to be in conversation and relationship with others. But that leader when operating out of an essential moral character will be enabled to confront sabotage and pushback to remain who he or she truly is. When generated by best principles for all, that leader's core self and the core needs of the whole group whom he/she serves will come together for the well being of all.

It will truly take both character and conviction to be the best leaders at any time. During these changing times those who know who they are and have the moral character to lead will be most valuable within their organizations. This will include being able to admit mistakes when they are made and to have the courage to continue to try new ideas that may, or may not, be well received. This kind of leadership follows two essential sayings: “Know thy (true) self” and “To thy (solid core) self be true!”